I'm sure that when I die, and my entire life flashes before me, it will be something like balancing my checkbook. When balancing my checkbook, I see the history of my life before me, and it's depressing.
Why did I pay seven dollars for a cup of coffee and a muffin on the 6th day of September?
Why did I have to eat out two weeks ago, and spend $15 on one meal?
Curses upon curses. Rather than take the proactive action of selling my kidney or going door to door pop-bottle collecting to be able to pay my rent, I shall fume for a while in passive-aggression. Here I go...
What gives restaurants the right to charge so much for so little? I'll tell you why. It's a conspiracy. The restaurant people prey upon our human desires for love and comfort.
First of all, acknowledge the general artifice of happiness attached to restaurants. No matter what, when you walk through the doors, the hostess will smile at you and the servers will be "happy" to see you. It's all for the business, but it makes us feel good. It doesn't matter if it is World War III outside, and grenades are exploding hither and thither, when you're inside, it's always Friday...
Secondly, take the semi-scripted rhetoric into consideration. A waiter approaches you and says "Hi, I'm So-And-So and I'll be taking care of you." Thank God. Somebody is going to take care of me. Freud might contribute this desire to be taken care of to a general lack of parental affection, which is largely manifest in society.
Thirdly, it is a mixture of human laziness and the natural fear of starvation that drives the masses to the restaurants. "I don't know how to cook anything but oatmeal...I'm going to Steak N' Shake."
It's the story of my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment