An Analysis of First-Degree Sleep Deprivation

The effects of sleep deprivation can be rather curious and sensational. It begins with a dull pounding in the fore-front of the brain that can be identified as the evaporation of coherent thoughts. Grammatically incorrect speech typically follows this dull pounding, and rightfully so, as brain cell after brain cell is dissolved by the artificial caffeine in your bloodstream, taking the place of oxygen.

Shortly after, a tingling sensation will cascade through your arteries and throw off your balance, but on the plus side, everything will feel comfier and easier to fall asleep against. While walking to class, you may become apt to scuffing you shoes on the floor, creating an alarming screeching noise that will only disorient you further.

The longer you deprive yourself of sleep, the more interesting your imagination becomes, particularly about all the bad things that could possibly go wrong. For instance, on my way to my student ambassador's shift, I imagined that I arrived three minutes late and that I had a tour waiting for me. There was a handicapped person in my group and I was forced to use the ramp instead of the stairs, but I didn't know where it was so my boss took me aside and fired me, and as I was staggering out of Hruby hall, blinded with tears I fell down the handicapped ramp I didn't know existed and cracked my two front teeth and broke three of my ribs and my wrist, so that when I showed up for my play later that evening, I had to play The Apple Woman as a disfigured hillbilly, and when I was thrown over Jon's shoulder in Act II, my three broken ribs punctured my right lung and I died a painful death of suffocation and internal bleeding in front of a paying crowd that didn't know that I wasn't acting.

In addition to an over-active-horrifying imagination, you may also experience frequent ten-second napping that may occur while you are walking. 85% of the time, nothing bad will happen as your body will simply continue in the direction you were already moving. The other 15% of the time may occur while walking down stairs, or in the advent of making a turn--in which case, the outcome may be very similar to what your over-active and horrifying imagination could fathom.

Ultimately, when your body reaches such extreme levels of sleep deprivation that you repeat the same sentence over 4 to 7 times, you may be due for a fainting spell which will happen very suddenlaf;jklsd `vbchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh