What You Don't Think About

Everybody has seen movies like "Signs," "War of the Worlds," or "Alien Versus Predator," and everybody seems to laugh it off later. But hold on just a moment--have you ever stopped to think about what you would do if that kind of thing happened? I mean, actually happened. It is entirely probably that there is intelligent life out there, in the vast vacuum of space, and just as possible that this intelligent life might want to come to earth, violently wipe out the human race, and utilize our planet for their own recreational purposes.
You need to have a plan. My roommates and I do. Our emergency-alien-attack escape plan is posted on our fridge, next to the coupons and shelf of foil hats.
You need to ask yourself questions such as this: If the aliens come in through the front door, do I have a back door through which I can exit? If they are weird amphibious aliens that transport themselves via water in our pipes, do I have tight drain fasteners? And lastly, if I am driven to the depths of my basement, have I mastered the Japanese art of hari-kari?
There are very important things to consider, and I encourage every one of my readers to take these precautions seriously.